Colorado Rapids 2014 Season Preview: Pulling for the Plucky Orphans


Where’s Oscar?

How’d 2013 Treat ‘Em: 14-11-9 (W-L-T), 45 gf, 38 ga; 5th in the West
Rock-solid seasons from several league freshmen (my people call them “rookies”) made the Rapids into one of the pleasant surprises of 2013: Deshorn Brown ran through defenses and Dillon Powers carved them up, while Clint Irwin stopped them from scoring. OK, A LOT more players contributed – I kept an eye on Sanchez and Torres often as I could – but things must have felt pretty good in Commerce City, the future bright, etc. Might call it a Rocky Mountain…no, don’t. (Keep your dignity.) For all the optimism, Colorado barely made the post-season and they didn’t stick around long, either. Still, plenty to build on and they had a coach taking the team in the right direction…

Exciting Additions! – Marvin Chavez, uh…wait…hot off the presses, Jose Mari

Tricky Departures… – Hendry Thomas, Tony Cascio

Quality Parts: Deshorn Brown, Clint Irwin, Drew Moor, Dillon Powers, Nathan Sturgis, Marvell Wynne

It Gets Better If They Come Good: Vicente Sanchez (who could be above if I knew this team better), Gabriel Tores (ditto), Danny Mwanga, Marvin Chavez, Dillon Serna, Edson Buddle (injury-free?), Nick LaBrocca…and, now, Jose Mari.

What I’d Expect Based on the Above:
…(this picks up on ellipses left open in section 1) then an old flame came around, flashed a lotta leg, whispered remembrances of sofa sex under the sizzling Texas sun, and – poof! – Oscar Pareja’s gone just like that, leaving a team of wounded children, mouthing the word “why?” through trembling lips. Eh, it’s probably not that so much as Rapids players wondering why no one (say, a new head coach) has come by to rescue from the damn orphanage. Unless something changes before March 15, Colorado will kick off 2014 with an interim coach at the helm. Less a coach, even, than a player who just retired. That hardly seems ideal when you’re trying to build on potentially fragile momentum. Divorces happen, though, and the kids survive, even when they get ugly. I’ve heard (literally; confessed podcast whore, here) concerns about a sophomore slump epidemic hitting this team and a coaching absence could certainly exacerbate that problem. For whatever reason, though, I’m optimistic about this bunch. It’s not going to be easy – not in a Western Conference armed for live-test of the M.A.D. doctrine –but the Rapids have solid-to-good players in most places and enough old guys to help keep heads looking in the right direction. If nothing else, keep your fingers crossed that watching them work out any lingering “daddy issues” against FC Dallas will be the stuff of legend and future reality TV programming.

2014 Season Opener: @ New York, March 15


1 Comment

  1. Pingback: 2014 Major League Soccer Season Preview Spectaularrrrr! | The Next 5-Year Plan

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